My first several weeks of student teaching have been wonderful, intimidating, and unpredictable. I started the semester off by going to my first in-service, which was an interesting experience. By the end of the week, I had most...okay, several, of the students' names memorized and was thoroughly excited for the rest of the semester. Then, life threw me a curveball and I was unable to attend my placement during the second week. Thank goodness WSU classes hadn't started yet.
My personal life aside, I absolutely LOVE my placement, CT (Ms. H), and students. I have already learned so many valuable things that I will carry with me when I'm a teacher. I am beginning to take over the classes, and have received quite a bit of constructive criticism from my CT. While I certainly appreciate and NEED criticism, this is exactly my problem. I have no doubt that I need as much as advice as I can possibly get so that I can grow and improve, but I tend to associate criticism with failure on my part. Ms. H will say something like, "You did a great job today, but next time you may want to expand on this particular point." This is what I hear: "You sucked today. Do better next time." My problem may seem silly, but I'm guessing that I am not alone in my sensitivity. How can I accept (much needed) criticism without beating myself up about my teaching performance?
Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear you enjoy your CT so much, I am sure that has made your placement a great place to be. I wish you continued success this semester as you student-teach.
I understand where you are coming from concerning receiving criticism from your CT and how to transform it into a positive thing. I certainly struggle with this aspect and question my abilities whenever I get up to teach. However, I try to put the constructive criticism into my memory bank and let it serve me the next time I teach or work with students. I just try to tell myself "it is ok that I don't know it all know, that's why I am here, to learn."
Also, if it would help, you could really ask for a detailed explanation of the constructive criticism from your CT and the both of you could talk it out since it seems you have a good working relationship with them. Hopefully this way it would calm your "failure" fears and be a way to get everything out in the open and find strategies that you would be comfortable with.
Lastly, don't beat yourself up over your teaching performances, you are there to learn and yes make mistakes too; that's why your CT is there to help you. I felt very reassured recently when I was told that I wasn't totally on my own and my CT was there to help anytime I needed it. Take this opportunity to try different strategies and "work out the kinks" if you will and be ready to roll into a great job come next fall.
Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI was having the same problem last week when I was making worksheets for my unit. I'd finish a few and then ask my CT to look over them. She'd mark the crap out of them, and then ask me a billion questions about why I did this, or how I'm doing that. At the end of one of these sessions I sat dejectedly back in my seat and then asked her in a very exasperated tone, "Am I doing ok?! Cause right now I feel like I suck!" She sat with me and explained that I'm not supposed to do everything right. I'm still learning and even she's still learning after 10 years. Every few days or so she tells me two things; I'm too hard on myself and I don't need to be the "all knowing one." These little bits advice really help me stay grounded. Luckily I have a perfectionist (like me) as a CT and she knows what's going on inside my head.
Everyone is different on how they take criticism and since we are all a little bit of a perfectionist, we don't like hearing bad even if it's sprinkled with good. Maybe when she says something like "make that point clearer," ask her, "how" or "what would you have done differently?" They've been teaching for long enough that they don't think about the process, which we are still learning. The little things they do, the order they put stuff in, even the way they answer questions is all second nature. I'd milk as much info as possible when she criticizes, so next time she'll have something new to tell you about :)